So, I know it's been a while...but for good reason. I have learned so much in these past few months and I'm so excited to be back on here to share my experiences and hopefully be an inspiration. Usually, I go into a long story, but this time, for organization's sake, I'll number the lessons and add the story behind it.
1.) There's nothing wrong with being a good friend.
I am told that often times I am a better friend to others than they are to me and I've come to terms with that. For that reason, my circle is small...and quite frankly, I have no issues with that. Earlier this year, I had a situation where I was friends with someone who basically wore a mask because they were afraid of who they really were. Being a good friend, I believed this "front" and when the truth behind who they really were was revealed, I was devastated. Not because my heart was broken because of the loss of a friend, but because I trusted that person and they lied in my face day in and day out for months. At the end of the day, I chose not to blame myself even though it was fairly easy since "all the signs were there." I chose to see the situation as simply being a good friend and trusting that they were the same to me, but ya know, the world is not like me and I learned that lesson (once again) in another dimension.
2.) Positive vibes!
God already has your destiny written, it's just up to you to feel deserving of that. Over the summer, I was in DC as a UNCF Walton Education Reform Fellow and I absolutely loved it! The work I was doing as far as creating a grant database and doing research? Not so much. However, the people I met were 100% lifelong friend material or simply people you should just have in your back pocket for references or because they know someone who knows someone. The atmosphere was great and I enjoyed the contrast between urban and white collar. I've already decided that I'm moving back up there and it's non-negotiable *laughs*. The biggest lesson I learned was that people love to feel appreciated. Who knew that inviting someone over for dinner could lead to lunch with Dr. Michael Lomax, President of UNCF or that a card, blueberries and flowers (paired with hard work of course) would lead to a hook-up with a job after graduation? If you know you are deserving of something put that into the atmosphere! Do not doubt that you are anything less than amazing! Accept that it will happen to you and take steps to making it happen!
3.) People will be who they are and you DO NOT have to like them either (and it's perfectly okay to tell them).
There's always a problem associated with not liking someone. Like, "Ooo, you must be jealous *pops tongue*" Nah, none of that. You are just a very poisonous individual and because you're miserable, you try to inflict your pain on others, and as someone you tried that with, I don't like you. Never have and never will. Over the past few months, I've recognized that I am a lot more aggressive in my dealings with people than I was in high school. Maybe it's just me growing into my womanliness, I don't know...but I love this newly developed "wildfire." At times, I find myself extremely frustrated with other women because they have not tapped into their "aggression" for lack of better word. On numerous occasions I have told someone an issue I have had with them via text or something of the like and asked them to come see me or call me. Now, every time they see me they avoid me or act funny *shrugs*. Like, I'm not going to yell at you or be rude, I'm going to gingerly tell you the reasons I don't like you with a soft voice and straight face and suggest that you work on them. Completely harmless and no disrespect is given from my end.
At some point, you've got to be tired of being the doormat or the girl who people feel they can get crazy with because you're passive aggressive. I know I did. You have to be confident enough to stand up for yourself and no longer allow disrespect to be thrown your way. Just snap really lady-like one good time and I guarantee you, you will feel like a new person.
4.) You don't need all of the answers, just the one to the question next, or better yet, in your face.
I think this pretty much speaks for itself. Take one day at a time. You cannot control what happens down the line because you are not there yet. All you can do is focus on the here and now and concentrate on those issues first. That speaks for relationships, career, anything...you are in the present, so cherish that.
As always, feel free to leave any comments, questions or suggestions and I'll be more than happy to address them! XOXO
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