Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Final Belle Post of 2014

As the last post of 2014, I think it’s appropriate to outline what I have learned in the outgoing year. Whether I experienced things personally or saw someone else go through them, there was always a lesson behind it that helped me develop into the better Emynee that I fully intend to take into the New Year.  So, without any further to do, here they are in no particular order:
1.)    Intuition: It’s There for a Reason

“Gut feeling”, “conscience” or whatever you want to call it, is in essence the same thing: the little voice inside of us that tells us whether something is great or completely just to the left side of the universe. Earlier this year, I decided to finally listen after developing some suspicion with someone I was on and off with, mostly off though. I discovered that this person was absolutely deceitful and my life was better off without them. Unfortunately, it should not have taken me that long to realize how horribly they were playing with my mind because I began to develop feelings about their character MONTHS before I was faced with reality. When I finally listened to that little voice, I was free and learned that even the smallest whisper will save time and energy.

2.)    Sometimes You Just Have to Let Them Go

I’ve never spoken on this to anyone except those who are very close to me, but earlier this year, I lost my best friend in the whole world. For about 10 years, we told each other everything, but after some thinking she decided that it was best for her if we not associate anymore. She had premature feelings of rejection since she felt as if she’d be replaced with my “new” sisters and how everything with me was one-sided, but….eh. After she told me that, I could literally feel my heart shatter, I had to call all the crew because I was in distress. After a few hours of consultation from my other best friends who have remained so dear to me, I realized that people figure themselves out in different ways and they are always right in their own eyes, even if everyone else looking in knows their reality to be completely false. Her feelings of insecurity had not one thing to do with me and my situation or friendship. I did not chase, I did not regret my decision to delete, block, etc., I just let her go. She had to walk down a path that is right to her and all I can do is let her do that. I won’t lie, I miss my friend sometimes, and all the time I catch myself saying, “Dang, I wish I could tell her so and so” but I can’t and that’s okay. If she ever comes back around, it won’t be the same because personally, I don’t get over hurtful things well, but if she never comes back around that’s fine too because, life.

3.)    One Statement: Looking through people is a lot less energy depleting than not liking them. I cannot help you grow up, but I can really hope you learn to cash checks your a** wrote before you get into the real world.

4.)     Write your vision
For me, it is not enough to say that I will do something; I must actually write it down and see it every day I wake up. If I roll out of bed and read what I have written down every day, even if I’m not reading it aloud, I am putting those vibes of positive energy into the universe. I am speaking things into existence and subconsciously taking steps to ensure that the actions I take are all in line with what I want my life to look like presently or in the future. I was so blessed in 2014. I was reintroduced to someone who I now care about deeply, I became a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., I received an internship that taught me what I don’t want to do, I had lunch with Dr. Michael Lomax, President and CEO of UNCF, I traveled, made friends from all over the country, was able to speak on behalf of UNCF at a few schools in South Carolina, received a job offer, and several more personal victories that I could honestly go on and on about. Even though there were some things that I would have preferred not to happen, God had a way of showing me those things should be the least of my concerns when looking at all the opportunities He presented to me. I say all that to say, write what you want to see come forth in your life and thank God for those things no matter how big or small you may think they are.

5.)    You are enough.
I had to end that one with a period because those three words change lives. You, with your thickness and all your quirks, bad habits, and corny jokes are enough. No need to run around trying imitate “cool” because that’s what you think will get you ahead. Be you in whatever sense that is and watch that be more than enough for everyone who you attract, whether that be professionally, romantically or just in the quest to find girlfriends who you will be able to consider lifelong friends. When you stick out for just being you and perfectly confident in who you are, people take notice and will respect you more for it. You feel like going a week without makeup? Do it. You feel like being alone for a few hours to gather yourself? Be comfortable doing so without being pressured into socializing. You feel like speaking to someone one day and not the next? Okay. So? Who is gonna check you, boo? Nobody. Be unashamedly you and watch things fall in line exactly how you want them to.

6.)    No regrets
Take chances, even if you are unsure about something because it is better to have done it then to say you should have done it. Try new things, talk to strangers, help those less fortunate than you, don’t allow people to waste your time, say what is on your mind if it is right, and most importantly love those who are special to you unashamedly to the point of surprising yourself sometimes.

Last but definitely not least I’d like to thank my readers who have continued to support me through another year. I hope your years were as eventful as mine and if not, I am sending vibes of incomparable love and positivity your way with hopes that this upcoming year, will be the best year ever! XOXO

Monday, December 1, 2014

Distant Lovers

     Yesterday, I was in complete emotional shambles and he, was the reason why. Being miles away from your significant other is hard work, but if you all are really “meant to be,” the difficulty is worth it. However, when you all’s time together comes to an end and you have to go your separate ways, it physically hurts, especially when a voice, text messages and memories are all of what you’ll have of them until the opportunity comes for the two of you to make more.

     My wish is for everyone to have that crazy and unexplainable, yet completely justifiable mix of emotions I was experiencing yesterday. To have an encounter with a love so heavy that you have no clue what to do with yourself. To leave things exactly how they left them because that misplacement of items is the only tangible thing you’ll have of them before you meet again. To be emotionally disoriented for hours on end after sharing your “until next time” kiss because that next time seems like forevers away, but at the same time, exponentially grateful for the piece of themselves they gave you while they were here. To remember the full feeling that the kisses, hugs and days spent in bed watching bad TV gave you; to silently think to yourself, “Dang, I want this forever,” while you deeply inhale their scent, and methodically exhale so that it has enough time to leave its impression on your brain. 

     This type of functionality is what I have hoped for since deciding I wanted something serious, and all I can do is thank God that He chose me to entrust this piece of Him to. I am so completely comfortable and recovered, and feel as though I have met my soul mate. He is my confirmation that I am good, and my motivation to be better. 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Always On Time

"I'm not always there when you call, but I'm always on time...and I gave you my all, now baby be mine" yeah, that song's hardly relevant when looking at the context, but the words, just being the words, I, I'm going to take them....and run with them.

So, picture this, May 23rd (almost 24th) and I'm sitting at my laptop at one of my best friend's house in Cali and I get a direct message on Twitter. My first thought is, "I hope this isn't a rapper trying to promote his mix tape because I don't feel like being nice tonight." My second thought is, "I hope this isn't that little Detroit guy who said his crotch looked just like a Snicker's bar. He clearly does not get the point and I dropped him for a reason besides him being 5'2"." So, I decided to go on and open it and I see a "#heyboo" from a guy who I least expected it from. At this point I'm sure my face has that concerned yet amused look on it, but I go ahead and greet him back because, well, he took me to IHOP.  As the conversation goes on, he tells me he's had a crush on me among other things and I'm like "Whaat?!?! Get outta here!" but I'm polished, so I asked him why he never told me and he said it was because he thought I had a man. I literally laughed out loud because in reality I was super single and wasn't interested in anyone at the time because I was so invested in improving and repairing myself and praying to God for a good guy because I deserved one. Then he came along...not when I wanted him, but when the time was appropriate. Truth be told, there was something about him that sparked my interest in who he really was before this whole thing and it all started second semester of my Freshman year when we had Introduction to Education together and he got up in front of the class and talked about his mother and why he was in education. Even though I was thinking "Huh? There's Black people there?" after he said where he was from, I don't think I took my eyes off of him the whole time he was talking. I saw confidence and passion in him and I absolutely loved that.

He eventually gets around to asking me for my number and I gave it to him because it seemed only right after he "electric slid" into my DMs the way he did. I look at my best friend and she says,"Okay Mynee." I laugh because I never thought in a million years that this guy would have my number for any reason outside of borrowing a textbook.

The next morning, I wake up to a text that reads: "Good morning my future Queen have a wonderful day sweetheart." I smile SO hard and think to myself, "Yes! A good one!" The conversation went on as natural as can be and it hasn't stopped since. Not the genuine passion, admiration or anything. As a matter of fact, it's deepened and after I decided to stop being scared of failure I allowed myself to jump into that sea of uncertainty because he's worth it.

He is amazing and beautiful in every way imaginable and he makes me feel the same way. I don't have to prove anything to him because he loves me for me and I him. He makes me laugh and smile and makes me good nervous sometimes and I have to get consultation from 70s babies, but that's okay because I don't want to always have something to say back. I enjoy being taken off guard. He's not crazy or insecure. He even grew his beard out for me! *swoons* He's exactly opposite of me in temperament because he's so chill and I'm....not, but at the same time we have so many similarities and I see the best parts of my dad in him. He even has that reformed hoe part *laughs*.

When I was younger and would think about the kind of man I wanted, someone like him came to mind and I'm so happy that he's a reality and no longer just a pigment of my imagination. After all this time, he finally came around but I guess it took all those messed up situations for me to appreciate someone as wonderful as he. He fits the mold of my perfect man and I can say that with confidence...I'm not looking at his potential and saying that he could possibly be, because he already is. If he ever decided to up and leave I'd be completely devastated *laughs* like devastation past devastation. I literally could not take it and would spend all of my income on a cat kingdom. However, I'd rather not focus on that. I'm so excited to see what life and God has in store for us individually and together.

So here's my bottom line: It happens ladies, just be patient. God has someone especially for you. He may not come when you need him but he'll be there when you are really ready and able to accept someone as magnificent as you deserve. Until that moment, keep working on yourself and as easy as it may seem to do, do not lose faith.

As always, if you have any comments, questions or suggestions, feel free to leave them below! I'll be more than happy to address them! XOXO

Words of Wisdom Pt. II

So, I know it's been a while...but for good reason. I have learned so much in these past few months and I'm so excited to be back on here to share my experiences and hopefully be an inspiration. Usually, I go into a long story, but this time, for organization's sake, I'll number the lessons and add the story behind it.

1.) There's nothing wrong with being a good friend.

I am told that often times I am a better friend to others than they are to me and I've come to terms with that. For that reason, my circle is small...and quite frankly, I have no issues with that. Earlier this year, I had a situation where I was friends with someone who basically wore a mask because they were afraid of who they really were. Being a good friend, I believed this "front" and when the truth behind who they really were was revealed, I was devastated. Not because my heart was broken because of the loss of a friend, but because I trusted that person and they lied in my face day in and day out for months. At the end of the day, I chose not to blame myself even though it was fairly easy since "all the signs were there." I chose to see the situation as simply being a good friend and trusting that they were the same to me, but ya know, the world is not like me and I learned that lesson (once again) in another dimension.

2.) Positive vibes!

God already has your destiny written, it's just up to you to feel deserving of that. Over the summer, I was in DC as a UNCF Walton Education Reform Fellow and I absolutely loved it! The work I was doing as far as creating a grant database and doing research? Not so much. However, the people I met were 100% lifelong friend material or simply people you should just have in your back pocket for references or because they know someone who knows someone. The atmosphere was great and I enjoyed the contrast between urban and white collar. I've already decided that I'm moving back up there and it's non-negotiable *laughs*. The biggest lesson I learned was that people love to feel appreciated. Who knew that inviting someone over for dinner could lead to lunch with Dr. Michael Lomax, President of UNCF or that a card, blueberries and flowers (paired with hard work of course) would lead to a hook-up with a job after graduation? If you know you are deserving of something put that into the atmosphere! Do not doubt that you are anything less than amazing! Accept that it will happen to you and take steps to making it happen!

3.) People will be who they are and you DO NOT have to like them either (and it's perfectly okay to tell them).

There's always a problem associated with not liking someone. Like, "Ooo, you must be jealous *pops tongue*" Nah, none of that. You are just a very poisonous individual and because you're miserable, you try to inflict your pain on others, and as someone you tried that with, I don't like you. Never have and never will. Over the past few months, I've recognized that I am a lot more aggressive in my dealings with people than I was in high school. Maybe it's just me growing into my womanliness, I don't know...but I love this newly developed "wildfire." At times, I find myself extremely frustrated with other women because they have not tapped into their "aggression" for lack of better word. On numerous occasions I have told someone an issue I have had with them via text or something of the like and asked them to come see me or call me. Now, every time they see me they avoid me or act funny *shrugs*. Like, I'm not going to yell at you or be rude, I'm going to gingerly tell you the reasons I don't like you with a soft voice and straight face and suggest that you work on them. Completely harmless and no disrespect is given from my end.

At some point, you've got to be tired of being the doormat or the girl who people feel they can get crazy with because you're passive aggressive. I know I did. You have to be confident enough to stand up for yourself and no longer allow disrespect to be thrown your way. Just snap really lady-like one good time and I guarantee you, you will feel like a new person.

4.) You don't need all of the answers, just the one to the question next, or better yet, in your face.

I think this pretty much speaks for itself. Take one day at a time. You cannot control what happens down the line because you are not there yet. All you can do is focus on the here and now and concentrate on those issues first. That speaks for relationships, career, are in the present, so cherish that.

As always, feel free to leave any comments, questions or suggestions and I'll be more than happy to address them! XOXO

Sunday, February 9, 2014

The Perfect Man List

"I mean, there's not that many good men in the world, so when you get one, you shouldn't complain....don't matter if he ya type or not."
     Bullsh*t. There's no better way to put it. For years, women have been forced to feel as though our pickings are slim because good men are few and far between. That has to be the biggest lie I have ever heard...right next to Jesus had blue eyes and blonde hair. The truth is, there are good men EV-ER-Y-WHERE.
     Men have always had the right to pick and choose among us and kick us to the curb if so much as a mole was out of place, so why do we (especially as good and wholesome women) not have the right to do the same? All this sprouts from a bit of frustration I had earlier last week about men. Lately, the men who have been approaching me have been either extremely "sexually suspicious" or just interested in sex, I'm 100% sure he doesn't even know my last name. I mean, I could tell the "suspicious" one was a good guy, but just not good for me. (YES ladies there is a such thing as a good guy being bad for you.) I'd definitely feel like a dominatrix in that situation. He'd probably let me ride his back to class while he was on all fours.*laughs* First and foremost, he was not my type my any means. He was short and really stubby. The first thing he asked was if I was Greek and the conversation went down hill from there. His approach was all wrong. He was so soft and kept telling me things about myself that I already knew. I know I'm attractive, I know I'm a "rarity", I know my head is on straight. I was not impressed by him and his aura did not make the situation better. I could've laughed out loud when he told me he was almost 30. Not to rag on the dude, I just want you to understand where my frustration was stemming from. As far as the latest one who's only interested in my waist down.....*sigh*. He's such an irritating little fraction of a fellow. Both times he's called me, it's been after my 11 o' clock cut off time. Both times the conversation has started and ended with things he "wanted to do." *rolls eyes* I'm pretty sure I've heard it all, that stuff does not excite me and I was hoping by my dry "oh" responses that he would catch the hint. Oh yeah, did I mention he's almost 30 too? Stuff like that only sounds semi exciting from............never mind. I digress *laughs*. Anyway, I decided to call my mom and tell her about my frustration. Among other things she told me that settling is stupid and it'll have me in a relationship somewhere wishing I was single again. She told me that she understands that I want a relationship and the companionship that comes with it, but sacrificing my expectations and wants should not be a part of obtaining someone as a "potential." Let that simmer......
She told me that I should sit down and make a list of all the things that my perfect man embodies, physically, spiritually and mentally. (Side note: Don't EVER allow someone to tell you that physical attraction is not important. It's not everything but it is a big part of your overall attraction to someone.) She said that on her list were things like "chocolate", "gentle giant," and "no history of mental issues," and y'all have to know that I hollered at the last one. She said that there were some things that were "negotiables" or things she could go without and "non-negotiables" or things that were absolutely necessary for her to seriously think about being committed to the other party. As I listened to her, I was like "wow" that is basically like a vision board, and guess what? The man she has now is so good to her AND he's a giant. I approve of him because he makes my mother happy and I don't think I've ever seen her with the type of joy that she has now with any other man. Not to throw shade or talk bad about anyone, he just brings out a different part of her that I have never seen.
So, I took her advice and started a "Perfect Man List" and yes, there's a such thing as someone being perfect for you, let no one tell you different. Below are a few of the non-negotiables:

  • ability to make me smile
  • ambitious
  • believes in the power of prayer
  • beautiful (in terms of who he is)
  • charming
  • honest
  • hardworking
  • considerate
  • good hugger
  • passionate about everything he does
  • spiritual (NOT religious)
  • 6'2" to 6'4" (nothing more nothing less)
Now, my negotiables:

  • full beard (not necessary, but he MUST be willing to grow it out for me)
  • no kids
  • able to cook
My original list is extremely long, I just wanted to give you an idea of what it can look like and encourage you to do the same. You can even put it on your vision board/wall if you have one, as it basically is a vision list. The only thing is, you have to stick to it and be brave enough to keep it moving if a man does not match up with the qualities you've outlined for yourself. Even though he may not show up next week, month or even year, he'll come if you keep reminding yourself of how wonderful he is by looking at your list. Give it a try and leave a few attributes of your perfect man below! I'd love to read them!XOXO

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Johnny Appleseed

    Now, if the story serves me correctly, Johnny Appleseed was a man who planted many seeds during his travels, but never really got the opportunity to enjoy the fruits. I know, you probably read that line thinking, "what in the world?" but hold on...I have a point AND some advice that stemmed from simply living.  
     A few weeks ago, I called my sister down and out about some things and she told me some valuable stuff. Even though I wasn't really looking for a piece of advice (I only wanted someone to listen), she got me thinking. What she told me was, "You are not always meant to sit under the shade of the trees you plant." At first, I was like, "huh?" but then it clicked for me. A lot of times the man who did a complete 360 for us from the time we met him, is not meant to stay with us for a lifetime. There may be some broken woman in the world who really needs what you instilled in him way more than you do. We were meant to constantly reach higher levels of love and understanding, so how can you do that when you’re only getting back what you put into him and nothing more? Do you get what I’m saying? I’m not talking about reciprocity, that’s something totally different. Let me put it this way, if you teach someone who knows nothing about math “2+2” (which is the only thing you know too), they can’t teach you anything but “2+2.” You’re not learning anything except for what you already know. He may need to break from you and go teach someone else “2+2.” Occasionally, you may luck up and find someone who takes “2+2” and turns it into “3+1”, “4+0” and “16”.  Those are the people you need to keep around for a lifetime because they rarely come around. That doesn't just apply to guys (or girls), it applies to friends as well--that leads me to another point: If you surround yourself with people who only do the learning and never the enlightening, then I suggest you do some introspection and adjust your personal circle. Always teaching and never being refilled is exhausting and gets you nothing in life, except for a circle of needy people who always need you to solve their problems. 

    With that being said, I'll leave you with this: it's okay to move on. In some cases, it's best the possible thing you can do for your physical and spiritual being. You don't have to always gain the fruits of your labor, because a lot of times, the fruit won't benefit us all that much anyway.

    As always, if you have any comments, questions, or concerns leave them below and I will be more than happy to address them! XOXO

Saturday, October 5, 2013

I'll Wait.....Some More

First off, let me apologize. I often forget I have readers and neglect to write when I know I should be. With that being said, let me catch you all up on the things that have been going on in my life and offer the wisdom and lessons learned that I always do.

The last time you all heard about my personal life, I had been dumped by a guy who I just knew I was going to spend my life, or at least, several years with. Even though I was hurting, I used the time between the breakup and the day I moved back on campus to do some introspection and get myself together for the next man that God decided He wanted to place in my life....and I was successful. I came to school at peace and was ready to conquer my junior year of college and live my life happily single while experiencing the love that only God could provide. My first night on campus, I was preparing to go to a party on campus with my sister to scope out all of the freshmen and understand their vibe. I'm in the mirror putting on my mascara when my phone rings, and guess who it is....the guy who several weeks earlier had kicked me to the curb. I contemplated answering the phone for a few seconds but I finally did, thinking that he was drunk or something. I answered the phone confused and he was just talking to me like everything was okay and finally, I brought up the ever burning issue of why in the world he was calling me. I don't quite remember what he said verbatim, but it was somewhere along the lines of "I was just thinking about you". He said some other things about his knowledge of him f**king up and I could only agree. I told him that I would've respected him a lot more if he told me that he wanted to end what we had instead of saying that he "needed a break from us", knowing good and well he had no initial intentions of ever coming back to me. He said he understood and the conversation kept moving, and the conversation ended with, "Well, I'm about to go into this always it's good talking to you. Good night." After we hung up, I couldn't help but tell my sister about the conversation, even though she could hardly hear me over the DJs horrible line-up. She simply brushed it off, as she doesn't like him....never has and never will. 

The next day, I got another call from him and it surprised me, as I simply thought he was calling to check to see if I was still alive the night before. We talked for HOURS like old times and immediately those feelings from before were kicked back up a little. I realized that I missed his country grammar, his soft voice and the way he makes me laugh, but I decided to ignore it because I knew we were simply catching up as friends. 

After a while, I realized that he wanted to be more than friends again so let myself fall for him once again. My suspicions of his feelings were met when he went through this app where anonymous people can ask you questions and told me that he liked me but he didn't know if I wanted to try again. I responded with "you never know if you don't ask". At this point, I didn't know who this was, but if they were serious, they'd keep asking questions. He then said that I didn't know who it was and I told him that I didn't and to tell me. He then said "oh well." I then knew who it was because only he says that to me. I responded with telling him that I don't play the guessing game anyway and that he could've called or sent me a text message like an adult but....oh well. He then said "true". There is no other man on this planet who responds to me in conversation with true but him so I told him that I knew exactly who it was and my guess was correct. It still took an entire weekend to get out of him whether or not he was serious but he was and we began trying to patch things up in late September. We would talk about the future and all of that good stuff and tell each other everything because we were more than potential spouses, we were best friends. 

Now to the part where I get dumped........again lol smh. The other night we were on the phone and he says "what's up" to me and I'm like "huh?" He says, "have you ever been texting someone and then say what you were texting?" I say, "No, because I don't text people when I'm on the phone with you" and that was the end of that conversation. He then says in a joking manner, "I'm only talking to you, but that's what everybody says." I respond, "Well, when I say that, I'm telling the truth." I was thinking to myself that he should know this by now. He said, "Well, I text other people but I already told you that." Immediately my heart drops and I tell him that I'm going to sleep. I don't hear anything over the phone so I'm saying "Hello?" repeatedly and then the phone disconnects. He texts me "Lol wow" and I text back "What? You hung up on me" and he responds with "No" so I immediately call him back. He said, "You said you were going to sleep?" and I told him I was and he says "oh well." I asked him what he said that for and he said nothing and told me that he was going to sleep too. We said our good nights and I text him that my feelings were just hurt and he asked why I felt that way and asked if I really did hang up. I told him that it was because I forget sometimes that he's not mine and that like I said before I didn't hang up on him. He responds with "Iight" and I asked him what that means and he said "nothing goodnight". Immediately I'm confused at why he's upset because clearly I'm the one who should feel played. I don't hear from him the next morning which was unusual because we usually talk things through the next day. I take it upon myself to to text him and he is extremely curt with me. I told him that clearly he wasn't feeling me that day and good luck on his paper, which I was helping him on the night before. He says "ok thanks". I don't hear from him that entire night in to the next morning. Again, I text him saying that I'm not sure where his head is at, but I miss hearing his voice and would like to talk to him soon. A few minutes later, he texts me saying that he doesn't want a relationship and he has a lot on his plate and he doesn't want me to think that he's playing me and he has to ease up because he doesn't want me in my feelings. Naturally, I'm confused because a day or two previous to that, he was talking about him wanting a relationship with me and actually taking the steps to achieve that. I told him that I was afraid he was going to leave me hanging again, but you live and learn and as always I want nothing but happiness for him. He responds with "wow ok." In my mind, I'm wondering why he's wow-ing because he's the one who kicked me to the curb (once again) via text. I guess he got his feelings hurt because he twisted up my words all types of ways, saying that I never intended on him being my last and how he was simply a lesson. *insert straight face* People......I never said any of this! That was basically the end of that conversation. Keep in mind, that this conversation was all during my field experience in a high school classroom. My eyes got a little wet, but I played it off by yawning, I couldn't go down like that.....I'm a straight G. As soon as I got back to my room, I popped open a big can of select beverage and cried to Ali (thank God she was in my room printing off an application). I told her that it wasn't fair to be simply an option to someone who I had made my only choice and how I was completely done with men and how I didn't want to be bothered by any of them, I even went so far as to telling her to delete his number out of my phone and un-friending him on Facebook lol. I was in the midst of deleting this guy out of my life forever!(in the midst of my fiery temper tantrum he sent me a text saying that he believes that God has someone special for me.) I got into the bed and went to sleep after I posted a few comical tweets and one that outlined the difficulty of being a naturally loving, caring and emotionally open person. I layed in my bed and just cried, cried, cried like a big baby because I was just so sick of everything. I asked myself over and over again why I allowed myself to be just a great woman to men who didn't even have the common courtesy to pick the phone up and kick me to the curb. I asked God why in the world he made me with such a huge heart and then allowed me to attract these...guys. I told him that I was sick of these dudes that feel like they can simply walk in and out of my life and sick of going through the same thing but with a different face. I was outright pitiful, but in the middle of my "pitifulness", I told God that I would wait for whoever He has for me, because this getting my feelings hurt business, was NOT for your girl. 

He called later that night because he had an issue with something I said on Twitter, we argued a little bit more and we haven't spoken since....

So here's where the wisdom and advice part comes in.....
Patience is key! What I have to tell myself is that even though I haven't been in a serious relationship or even been on my first date, that those things WILL COME! I am only twenty years old and while I am focused on being sought out by the man who God placed on this earth especially for me, I should enjoy the time I have as a single young woman and use it to grow even more. While it is easy for me to say that I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life, I know that's not true. God put me (and YOU) on this earth to be a force and the reason why a man wakes up every morning and decides to make good choices. Do you understand that one day, a man will walk up to you already set in his mind that you are going to be his wife? Do you realize that you will be the reason why a man decides to grow and become better with each day? Do you realize that there is a man somewhere in this world who would (without a second thought) give his life for you, just as God's only Son? Let that simmer for a bit......

Don't get discouraged by these "knuckleheads who are fake a**holes most of the time and don't even know if they're on the DL or not" as my dad would say. Be encouraged because you have always been on this earth for a man to love and cherish whole-heartedly and NOT only when he feels. Even though you may not come across him in the next month, or even year your patience and "struggles" in love will be rewarded and you'll wonder how in the world you lucked up with a man so beautiful.

As always, feel free to leave comments, questions and suggestions below! I always respond!XOXO