Sunday, August 10, 2014

Always On Time

"I'm not always there when you call, but I'm always on time...and I gave you my all, now baby be mine" yeah, that song's hardly relevant when looking at the context, but the words, just being the words, I like...so, I'm going to take them....and run with them.

So, picture this, May 23rd (almost 24th) and I'm sitting at my laptop at one of my best friend's house in Cali and I get a direct message on Twitter. My first thought is, "I hope this isn't a rapper trying to promote his mix tape because I don't feel like being nice tonight." My second thought is, "I hope this isn't that little Detroit guy who said his crotch looked just like a Snicker's bar. He clearly does not get the point and I dropped him for a reason besides him being 5'2"." So, I decided to go on and open it and I see a "#heyboo" from a guy who I least expected it from. At this point I'm sure my face has that concerned yet amused look on it, but I go ahead and greet him back because, well, he took me to IHOP.  As the conversation goes on, he tells me he's had a crush on me among other things and I'm like "Whaat?!?! Get outta here!" but I'm polished, so I asked him why he never told me and he said it was because he thought I had a man. I literally laughed out loud because in reality I was super single and wasn't interested in anyone at the time because I was so invested in improving and repairing myself and praying to God for a good guy because I deserved one. Then he came along...not when I wanted him, but when the time was appropriate. Truth be told, there was something about him that sparked my interest in who he really was before this whole thing and it all started second semester of my Freshman year when we had Introduction to Education together and he got up in front of the class and talked about his mother and why he was in education. Even though I was thinking "Huh? There's Black people there?" after he said where he was from, I don't think I took my eyes off of him the whole time he was talking. I saw confidence and passion in him and I absolutely loved that.

He eventually gets around to asking me for my number and I gave it to him because it seemed only right after he "electric slid" into my DMs the way he did. I look at my best friend and she says,"Okay Mynee." I laugh because I never thought in a million years that this guy would have my number for any reason outside of borrowing a textbook.

The next morning, I wake up to a text that reads: "Good morning my future Queen have a wonderful day sweetheart." I smile SO hard and think to myself, "Yes! A good one!" The conversation went on as natural as can be and it hasn't stopped since. Not the genuine passion, admiration or anything. As a matter of fact, it's deepened and after I decided to stop being scared of failure I allowed myself to jump into that sea of uncertainty because he's worth it.

He is amazing and beautiful in every way imaginable and he makes me feel the same way. I don't have to prove anything to him because he loves me for me and I him. He makes me laugh and smile and makes me good nervous sometimes and I have to get consultation from 70s babies, but that's okay because I don't want to always have something to say back. I enjoy being taken off guard. He's not crazy or insecure. He even grew his beard out for me! *swoons* He's exactly opposite of me in temperament because he's so chill and I'm....not, but at the same time we have so many similarities and I see the best parts of my dad in him. He even has that reformed hoe part *laughs*.

When I was younger and would think about the kind of man I wanted, someone like him came to mind and I'm so happy that he's a reality and no longer just a pigment of my imagination. After all this time, he finally came around but I guess it took all those messed up situations for me to appreciate someone as wonderful as he. He fits the mold of my perfect man and I can say that with confidence...I'm not looking at his potential and saying that he could possibly be, because he already is. If he ever decided to up and leave I'd be completely devastated *laughs* like devastation past devastation. I literally could not take it and would spend all of my income on a cat kingdom. However, I'd rather not focus on that. I'm so excited to see what life and God has in store for us individually and together.

So here's my bottom line: It happens ladies, just be patient. God has someone especially for you. He may not come when you need him but he'll be there when you are really ready and able to accept someone as magnificent as you deserve. Until that moment, keep working on yourself and as easy as it may seem to do, do not lose faith.

As always, if you have any comments, questions or suggestions, feel free to leave them below! I'll be more than happy to address them! XOXO

Words of Wisdom Pt. II

So, I know it's been a while...but for good reason. I have learned so much in these past few months and I'm so excited to be back on here to share my experiences and hopefully be an inspiration. Usually, I go into a long story, but this time, for organization's sake, I'll number the lessons and add the story behind it.

1.) There's nothing wrong with being a good friend.

I am told that often times I am a better friend to others than they are to me and I've come to terms with that. For that reason, my circle is small...and quite frankly, I have no issues with that. Earlier this year, I had a situation where I was friends with someone who basically wore a mask because they were afraid of who they really were. Being a good friend, I believed this "front" and when the truth behind who they really were was revealed, I was devastated. Not because my heart was broken because of the loss of a friend, but because I trusted that person and they lied in my face day in and day out for months. At the end of the day, I chose not to blame myself even though it was fairly easy since "all the signs were there." I chose to see the situation as simply being a good friend and trusting that they were the same to me, but ya know, the world is not like me and I learned that lesson (once again) in another dimension.

2.) Positive vibes!

God already has your destiny written, it's just up to you to feel deserving of that. Over the summer, I was in DC as a UNCF Walton Education Reform Fellow and I absolutely loved it! The work I was doing as far as creating a grant database and doing research? Not so much. However, the people I met were 100% lifelong friend material or simply people you should just have in your back pocket for references or because they know someone who knows someone. The atmosphere was great and I enjoyed the contrast between urban and white collar. I've already decided that I'm moving back up there and it's non-negotiable *laughs*. The biggest lesson I learned was that people love to feel appreciated. Who knew that inviting someone over for dinner could lead to lunch with Dr. Michael Lomax, President of UNCF or that a card, blueberries and flowers (paired with hard work of course) would lead to a hook-up with a job after graduation? If you know you are deserving of something put that into the atmosphere! Do not doubt that you are anything less than amazing! Accept that it will happen to you and take steps to making it happen!

3.) People will be who they are and you DO NOT have to like them either (and it's perfectly okay to tell them).

There's always a problem associated with not liking someone. Like, "Ooo, you must be jealous *pops tongue*" Nah, none of that. You are just a very poisonous individual and because you're miserable, you try to inflict your pain on others, and as someone you tried that with, I don't like you. Never have and never will. Over the past few months, I've recognized that I am a lot more aggressive in my dealings with people than I was in high school. Maybe it's just me growing into my womanliness, I don't know...but I love this newly developed "wildfire." At times, I find myself extremely frustrated with other women because they have not tapped into their "aggression" for lack of better word. On numerous occasions I have told someone an issue I have had with them via text or something of the like and asked them to come see me or call me. Now, every time they see me they avoid me or act funny *shrugs*. Like, I'm not going to yell at you or be rude, I'm going to gingerly tell you the reasons I don't like you with a soft voice and straight face and suggest that you work on them. Completely harmless and no disrespect is given from my end.

At some point, you've got to be tired of being the doormat or the girl who people feel they can get crazy with because you're passive aggressive. I know I did. You have to be confident enough to stand up for yourself and no longer allow disrespect to be thrown your way. Just snap really lady-like one good time and I guarantee you, you will feel like a new person.


4.) You don't need all of the answers, just the one to the question next, or better yet, in your face.

I think this pretty much speaks for itself. Take one day at a time. You cannot control what happens down the line because you are not there yet. All you can do is focus on the here and now and concentrate on those issues first. That speaks for relationships, career, anything...you are in the present, so cherish that.




As always, feel free to leave any comments, questions or suggestions and I'll be more than happy to address them! XOXO