The "Rehearsal Chick"

I read: "Men have Rehearsal Chicks." 

Naturally, I read on because I had never read anything like this before.

"They aren't side hoes, they aren't jump offs; these are girls they meet and treat like their real girlfriends but never give the title." 

I could've stopped right there but I read on, mainly because we had consistently agreed that we were "friends", "working towards a relationship." 

I then read: "This is practice for his potential soul mate. Their Main chicks won't be easy to f*ck so why put the focus on p*ssy." 

At this moment, I'm dying a little inside. While it is true that I have never had sex with any of the men I had put in the running for contenders as my boyfriend, there was still intimate stuff shared that I had never shared with anyone, and in my mind that is equivalent to allowing someone to caress my soul....because trusting someone enough to invite them to the inner depths of me, was doing just that.

"Women can be used for more than just their vagina."

I said, "If she's talking about money, I ain't got none of that. I'm a 20 year old BROKE college student, so what in the world can I POSSIBLY be used for?" I then read on...

"Men can't come out and cry on each others shoulder's cause simp behavior is not accepted."
"So they move on to the next female they meet to get over the last."
"They rehearse with the new girl because honestly they aren't ready to give her the title of girlfriend."
"Eventually that rehearsal chick will gain his trust and his heart will heal enough to be in a relationship again."
"But more times than not, it won't be with the girl that helped him get over his ex."
"Men appreciate the nursing back to full strength but once those Danger Room exercises are complete, it's on to a main chick."
"You love him he's your boo aww how cute! Accept it, he chose another b*tch over you!"

At this point my bottom jaw has been on the ground for close to two or three minutes. I just go on ahead and grab that shoe because that sh*t fit perfectly! For close to a year, I had told myself that I was "The Trainer" because I would be so kind and gentle and patient with these broken men and then they move on, never asking if I would do them the honor of being their girlfriend or anything. In all of my 20 years, I have never even had the courtesy of being taken on a date even though I had put so much energy and effort into them. But this woman, Mimi Larrieux, had put a real title to what I was going through and even though it hurt my feelings, it was that OG wisdom that makes you wanna do better and be better because you are no longer blind to reality. 

The thing I must focus on now is my change in action. How in the world am I going to make sure this never happens again? I know I am more than deserving to be someone's significant other and there are plenty of men who would be more than happy to place me on that pedestal with no qualms. It's just unfortunate that I have had run-ins with men who didn't believe that. Do I mask my beautiful spirit that seems to seep through my pores even when I put on my hardest grimace? Or do I just become like everyone else and develop trust issues and expect the nexts to use me as a Bob the Builder for the Soul just as the lasts? 

I'm just kidding, I'm naturally loving and trusting so that would probably work for like two weeks *laughs*.

Gosh y'all...I don't know. 

The beautiful thing about life though, is that it is continuously teaching us and granting us wisdom while we live it. I have learned from MY mistake, will continue to build myself back up and keep it moving the best I know how, because honestly, that's all I can do. 
As always feel free to leave any comments, suggestions and questions below or email me at emynee.garrett@gmail.com! I love interacting with my readers!XOXO

And PLEASE go follow the woman who acted as life's teacher and is the inspiration behind this #BellePost @MIMI_LARRIEUX on Twitter!